All Over the Place!

I created this graphic above because I liked The saying :-)

Today’s #FriskyFriday live broadcast was interesting. I probably let myself be a bit too open with my “stories” but it’s all in fun. 

So I’ve been thinking bout what I wrote last & had a slight change of heart I think? Maybe that’s the wrong term but basically I do understand why everyone chooses whatever they choose. For the same reasons anyone does I guess...nothing happened to make them want to do  otherwise. 

Whether they are comfortable or even just scared, that’s the way they feel & nothing I think or say will change anyone. We are a sum of all our own experiences & unfortunately, for the most part anyway, it makes us who we are. So it’s not our fault we didn’t get certain opportunities that would make us want anything better or more. 

But! I also think most of life is mundane or meaningless...constantly doing the same stuff over & over or worrying over stuff that won’t mean much in the end anyway  & then your just gone (Boo!) having never really “lived” at all to begin with... unless, (and yes everyone gets free will for this reason) 

You choose to create those experiences you weren’t handed & see from a different perspective to maybe get more outta life? 

We make decisions based on our knowledge of things experienced. If we have more experience, maybe it would make those decisions way less complicated or if not... life will just be more fun? lol    

I used to say that I was okay with never doing anything “more” because I think I’ve done a decent amount of “living” & I feel lucky with that....but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to live more if I have the chance. Plus, I always say life is short, but each time I learn something new...It makes me see that it really is short & no matter what we do, there will always be soooo much more we didn’t get to do. 

Lately, I’ve been all about “feeling” & trying to find stuff that makes me feel anything aside from negativity or boredom. 

Although...I think I may be starting to get more of a “who cares anymore” attitude about everything.,.not that I don’t care about anything, but more like, I’m not worrying over what may happen, so much. 

What I’m saying is,.... I’m just going “with” the moments as they come & trying to live in them without thinking about all the stuff that may or may not come after or anything aside from what I’m feeling right then & there. 

Now that I’m writing it out though... doesn’t sound as good as it is...

Ughz... well I have a lot going through my head right now & not sure how to get it out anymore :::sigh::: 

Sometimes I feel like I’m already gone & just haven’t completely disappeared yet. Yeah that probably makes no sense. 

Okay well that’s all she wrote for now... because she’s realizing she’s going off track a bit & needs to stop before ... ahhh don’t mind me :-) 

Hopefully I’ll make sense again next time? :::shrug:::

Niterz 🌙

Expecting the Unexpected...

Just when I think I know who I am or what I really like... someone goes & pushes these buttons I never new were there & Wow!!! 

Okay I’m gonna be good & just say you really never know until you try. This only makes me more sure that we were meant to explore, enjoy & expand our views whenever possible. 

How else can we know?

It already feels like I’ve waited too long to find things out & it’s not as if time is going to get longer. So what happens when I’m like 60 & find even more enjoyable things I’d like to umm explore? 

I’ll say “Damn, I wish I knew this back when...” ....MEANING NOW! 

Why do we all put off so much like we think suddenly we’re going to get more time to do these things? 

Or why be content with what’s okay when we can try “Amazing”? 

Yes I know ...security etc... not wanting to end up alone blah blah blah... & maybe I’m the minority who actually sees possibility in everything, but how did we all get this way? 

The part that makes me most sad is that I know a lot of people will feel the way I do .....eventually, but it’ll be so much more difficult by then & it’ll most likely, end up becoming just a “thought” without any real follow-thru behind it....or worst yet, no ability to follow-thru. 

Maybe it’ll be better in the future? For the sake of those generations I hope it does, but my heart feels like it’s a longshot. :::sigh::: 

Anyway... I’m thankful to have any experiences open to me & that I now feel more open to see them for what they truly are (beautiful & exhilarating  moments I’m being given another chance to feel) & enjoy them immensely. 

Then when the time comes, and it will, where I’m sitting there  looking back at all the things I  felt may have been wrong at the time, now make me feel alive again, if even for a moment, as my mind transports me back to each one. I’ll only regret the experiences I didn’t get to have.

Every teen feels like anything they do will have life threatening consequences until they become an adult & realize it really wasn’t all that dramatic. 

That’s how I think we always feel as we move along....& always wishing to go back...or at least those of us who had those choices. 

After all life is just a bunch of our stories put together I think?